have i mentioned that we are in the adoption process. hard to believe that it was a year ago this coming weekend that the Lord first impressed on us that the time was NOW to move forward in this journey. everyone that i had talked to about adoption always complained about the mounds of personal information and paperwork required as being the hard part. that hasn't been the hardest part for me. (although, trying to find a few hours of quiet to answer questions like what kind of dreams do i consistently have? and what is my first memory as a child? can prove a bit challenging.)
the hard part for me has been examining my own heart. wrestling through issues that aren't talked about much in my circles. issues of race and culture and special needs kids. issues os money and faith. i am learning to listen to where the Lord is directing our hearts, and i am having my heart sifted. i have discovered fears, prejudices and anxieties that are not of the Lord in my heart and have had much room to repent...and to show that i am "changing directions" (the meaning of repent) by the boxes i check on endless forms.
we have been led clearly away from adopting from the philippines for now. we have found an
agency that i am quickly falling in love with and are getting to start the process over with them. so instead of a 2-3 year old child from the philippines, it looks like we might be getting a baby from the states. only He knows. and man, what a comfort His sovereignty has been through the journey. i'll try to do better about letting you know where we are in the process, but i'm not making any promises. :)
