our second possibility

Christie, our caseworker, made it a habit NOT to call us. She said that whenever we would see Covenant Care Services in the caller id, our hearts would race, and she didn't want to put us through unnecessary drama. Which I appreciated. We did talk from time to time. There were still questions that I had, finishing touches on paperwork that she had questions about.

On one of these occasions, she mentioned to us that there was another possibility. Now, we weren't supposed to know when our profile was being shown (another way that Covenant tries to keep us off of the emotional roller coaster as much as possible!) We knew about the first possibility because we had to confirm whether or "maybe" box was actually a "yes." For some reason, which I cannot remember now, Christie told us about our profile being shown again. This time, it was a little girl. It was a simple story. No drama. Not super messy. After I hung up with Christie, I was talking with a friend and told her about the situation. I said, "she's not going to choose us." There was something in my gut that just said that this was too simple. That this adoption needed to be for a couple who were adopting because they couldn't have children and longed for one. Not for us. We were adopting for different reasons. We were okay with mess. We longed to be agents of God's redemption in something messy.

Christie called back not long after and told us that the birth mom had chosen someone else. When I told her my thoughts, she just laughed. The couple that the birth mom did choose was exactly what my gut had said.

So, we were back to waiting. (notice a theme?)

our first possibility

reality hit hard and fast. the years of paperwork and wanting to love others, but wondering how the hours of working for southernsavers and mounds of paperwork really were ministry were gone in a flash. we got our first possible child presented to us. it all became very real.

during the last meeting for our homestudy, our caseworker asked us if we were open to adopting a child that was the result of incest. (it was one of the questions on our "type of child desired form" that we had checked with a maybe.) there was a brother and sister. the sister was pregnant. they were younger than 15. after i got over the icks, i was so grieved. how does that happen? where were their parents? their mom seemed unfazed by it all. was the father of this baby really the brother, or was he just the fall guy for their dad. how? why? and...

how do you begin to tell a child you have adopted their story when THAT is their story? jon and i prayed. i made phone calls to doctors to find out the medical ramifications. we learned about genetic testing that could be done after birth. we decided after gathering our info that we would be willing for them to view our profile. willing to consider it with the contingency of doing testing after birth. everything we were hearing was that everything could be fine, or could be a mess. and really, isn't all of that brokenness such a mess?

we began to pray for that family. pray for redemption. pray for healing. pray for massive, massive change. and we waited to see if they would pick us.

they didn't. i honestly cannot remember if i grieved or not. i think i did a bit. we had invested our hearts in prayer and our time in research and love had begun to grow. at the same time, with it being the situation it was, we were fervently praying for God to make it clear if this is where He wanted US. He said, "no."

so we went back to waiting.

premature panty party

in the interest of full disclosure (and because i do believe that there are other moms out there with this situation)...our panty party was a bit premature.

every other night since the party (including the actual night of the party), our sweet juju has wet the bed. one of the things that i love about this girl is that she does not have any shame at all about this. we are doing all that we know to help her be successful--no drinks after dinner, potty before bed, taking her before we go to bed and then when jon gets up around 5 am...still, accidents are happening.

often.

so, because the one thing about this that makes my precious julia cry is having to wear pull-ups (they are babyish AND itchy-not sure which is the bigger offense), i've been researching some different options.

and here is what we are going to try next:

http://www.artfire.com/users/danielcreations

here's hoping they work. anybody have any other suggestions??

flying through the process

covenant care's process was a little different than what we had been exposed to with our other two agencies in that you had to attend one of their twice yearly meetings before you could get started. that meeting happened at the end of august in 2010.

we had a lot of our paperwork done already, and they were gracious to not make us redo most of it but to take in paperwork from other agencies. we had an FBI background check to do. we got fingerprinted. the girls got to see the inside of a police station where people were booked. fun times. (does that count as a field trip?)

by the time we went to the first meeting, most everything was done. from the time of our first homestudy meeting (which we were dreading, but went amazingly well) to when we were on the waiting list was a mere 3 weeks. just so you know, things never happen that fast. it was an insane 3 weeks of putting together our profile packet (where we try to summarize our family in a few scrapbook pages and a letter to the birthmom) to madly cleaning our home (so that when they came to check it out, it would be deemed, "fit"). we got done at the end of october with everything. now, it was time to wait.

while mom's away...

they learn new tricks.