erin and the girls

you know how stressful it is when you really, really need your kiddos to behave? as much as we train them, love them, pray for them, counsel them, we still cannot control what they will do and say. meeting erin WITH the girls was in some ways more stressful than the first meeting. what if they did something that horrified her or said something that appalled her? they are the testimony to how we parent, and if she didn't like how we parent, she could definitely walk away. i mean, what if they both had major tantrums? what if they were totally disrespectful? what if????? how would you feel if you were trying to find a family for your baby, and then when you saw how the family interacted, you were shocked and dismayed??

i know many of you will say, "but amy, your family is so precious!" or some other kind thing. and yes, we have a great family, but EVERY family has bad days. days when i would get out if i could! yes, i should have trusted that the Lord was sovereign over all this, and yes, i tried to rest in that. but i ain't gonna lie, i was stressed!

i don't remember how the girls were feeling beforehand. (isn't that terrible! a true indicator of how self-centered my thoughts were at the time!) i know abby was a bit apprehensive at first. but a burger king playground to herself and the promise of ice cream for good behavior helped.

when we walked in, the playground area was completely empty (thank you, Lord!) erin was there with her mom (oh yeah, we were meeting her mom for the first time too). shortly after we got there, our caseworkers arrived. this meeting, they sat at a table at the end, pulling away from our conversation to give us some more space.

the girls did really well overall. there were a few altercations over food, but all in all, they were splendid. our interaction with erin and her mom went well too. nothing stands out in our time together. it was just laying more groundwork for our relationship.

oh, but this. this was precious. benjamin was moving inside of erin, and julia had wanted to feel him move. so she asked if she could, and erin graciously let her. abby didn't want to, and i wanted to, but something held me back. i tried for a long time to figure out what it was, but i never could figure it out.

love the tenderness of julia's little hand on erin's belly and erin's hand on julia's head.

such a sweet moment.

julia telling ben "hi, hi!"

oh, and julia wanted to ask erin if benjamin would pull her hair. when we asked the girls what questions they had for erin, that was very important to her. gotta love it.