two sides

do you ever feel like you are living a double life? that there is the one side that everyone knows and then there is this whole other side of you? well, that's how i have felt in this whole blogging adventure. because the whole time i have been blogging, i have been dealing with alot of headaches...and i mean daily, horrible headaches. so sometimes, the happy "yummy" life just doesn't seem real. it is though. there are sweet moments of grace in the midst of the pain. God is good to me in that, but mostly, the last 2 weeks have just been hard. discouraging. full of pain. a longing to hope that maybe at the end of this journey of getting the toxins out of my body, i might actually begin to be a normal, healthy person. and at times, a longing to just go home. heaven, home. no, i'm not suicidal. migraines are just horrible. and they make me long for more. isn't that the point of pain though? i'm not sure. still trying to figure that one out.